Oftentimes we need to stop and list the things in our lives that we should be most grateful for? For just and/or unjust reasons, we focus on the negative things around us.
Reminding ourselves to feel grateful is one of the best things we can do for ourselves. Few mental adjustments bring so great a benefit. Consider all the good things that can happen if you start reminding yourself, even just once a day, of all you have to be grateful about. Some of the benefits are that:
1. You'll be in a better mood.
Focusing on your reasons for gratitude means focusing on the things that make you happy. And as I'm trying hard to learn, being happy about the good things in your life won't cause the Evil Eye to come after you. It will just give you a more optimistic outlook, which will in turn make you feel happier and more grateful. It's a self-reinforcing cycle, and that's a good thing.
2. You'll be more attractive.
If your usual attitude is to be grateful for the good things in your life and you have a positive, happy outlook, you will be more fun to be around than if you're constantly griping about everything. Most people are drawn to those who are positive, happy, and optimistic than they are to constant complainers. Your happy attitude may even prove to be contagious, making them happier too.
3. You'll be more resilient.
Practicing gratitude will tend to give you a sense of perspective. If, as many gratitude gurus recommend, you start the day by mentally listing three things you're grateful for before you even get out of bed, you'll have a much better sense of what really matters than if you start the day by reaching for your phone or tablet and reading your email.
That sense of perspective may make a difference when you're faced with a difficult co-worker, employee, or customer, a business or personal setback, or any of the other frustrations of modern life. You'll be likelier to handle those frustrations with more wisdom, because keeping the things you're grateful for in mind will help you see the big picture.
4. You'll be more generous.
I'm not just talking about actual giving, although that might happen as well. I mean something larger--the ability to consider a situation from someone else's point of view and treat that person with as much kindness as possible. Remembering that you're grateful for your job or business will help you get over your aggravation if one of your co-workers or employees leaves a task unfinished so that you have to complete it.
5. You'll live longer.
Few years ago, research confirmed what most of us have already observed: Happier people live longer, healthier lives. In a surprising study, researchers divided older people into happy, unhappy, and in-between categories and then tracked them over five years. More of the unhappy group died than either of the other two, and once researchers had controlled for age, chronic illness, depression, and healthy or unhealthy behaviors (such as getting regular exercise), they found that happy people were 35 percent less likely to die than unhappy ones. Practicing gratitude will not only make your life more enjoyable, it could actually give you more life.
For 2015 especially, I thank God and return all glory to Him.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
2015: So Deserving!
The current year has put me under intense pressure to raise the bar in 2016. The keyword is sustainability!
Among the many ways that sustainability has been defined, the simplest and most fundamental is: "the ability to sustain" or, put another way, "the capacity to endure."
Today, it is by no means certain our society has the capacity to endure – at least in such a way that the nine billion people expected on Earth by 2050 will all be able to achieve a basic quality of life. The planet's ecosystems are deteriorating and the climate is changing. We are consuming so much, and so quickly, that we are already living far beyond the earth's capacity to support us. And yet nearly a sixth of our fellow humans go to bed hungry each day: both an unnecessary tragedy and a source of social and political unrest. Meanwhile, our globalized world is more interconnected and volatile than ever, making us all more vulnerable.
While sustainability is about the future of our society, for today's industries and businesses, it is also about commercial success. The mandate to transform businesses to respect environmental limits while fulfilling social wants and needs has become an unparalleled platform for innovation on strategy, design, manufacturing and brand, offering massive opportunities to compete and to adapt to a rapidly evolving world.
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Time and Cockcrow
Time is a measure of events, duration, and change. Thanks to Coordinated Universal Time (UTC) we share a basis for discussing Time. It helps structure our expectations. I may be at my desk by 9:00 EST (UTC-05:00), but I understand that colleagues in California (UTC-08:00) are likely still in bed. Global clock time tells me that at 11:00 EST, I can reasonably expect them to be at their desks. However, our experiences with Time may differ in accordance with local observances even along the same latitude. While it may indeed be five o'clock somewhere, what people may choose to do at that Time may differ greatly from place to place. The meaning of five o'clock can vary greatly.
Despite the standardization offered by the clock, Time is an intersubjective experience. Though we don't often consider it, local contexts can inform our temporal awareness in subtle ways. For example, consider the role roosters have played in keeping time:
The use of cockcrows in the predawn period to reckon time is extremely widespread, and has been ethnographically documented. The Bororo of Brazil keep track of time after midnight through the gradual increase in intensity and frequency of crows between the first cockcrow and dawn; the Ifugao of the Philippines state that cocks crow four times during the night with the third cockcrow at around four oclock in the morning; and among the Saramaka, a maroon group in Surinam, cockcrow is an auspicious time for sharing secrets in the predawn hours.
While it's true that roosters can indeed crow at any time, in a recent paper anthropologist Kevin Birth discusses how avian chronobiology shapes a reliable relationship between cockcrow and the coming dawn that may help understand perceptions of time prior to the establishment of a standard global time.
First, like roosters, preachers strive against darkness to account approaching light. Second, they awaken the sluggish. Just as cocks understanding penetrates the darkness, so should the knowledge of teachers. Also, Gregory states that cocks are louder in the darkness and more gentle as dawn approaches, and he says that this is a metaphor for how preachers should treat people. Those who are in darkness receive harsher messages, while those who are approaching spiritual enlightenment should hear the subtlest mysteries. The cockcrow was a temporal signifier in the Middle Ages, but is there any biological basis for these sorts of connections?
Do Roosters Crow at Dawn? Sure they do! Chickens have a circadian cycle. They're entrained to light-cyclesmelatonin secretion, and regulation of the heart, brain, and liver change in response to light. For roosters, whose crows are driven by testosterone, light cycles which regulate endogenous cycles can also trigger crowing behavior.
Endogenous cycles in chickens can reset in response to incremental changes in light intensity. Gambian hens, for example, shift their roosting times in accordance with the seasons: since the days are relatively the same length, the chickens appear to negotiate roosting in relation to shifting light intensity. Chickens, then, are able to anticipate light cycles. Research done in North-Central India, where the sun only becomes visible after it has risen higher than surrounding mountains, documents the onset of crowing approximately two to three hours before sunrise with initial intervals of about 30 minutes that decrease to about seven minutes at the time of sunriseeven though the sun is not actually visible at the moment of sunrise.
But roosters also crow at other times and for different reasons. Birth acknowledges theyre only temporally relevant during the period of predawn for a specific locationbut they are an excellent means of generating contextually-relevant information.
Despite the standardization offered by the clock, Time is an intersubjective experience. Though we don't often consider it, local contexts can inform our temporal awareness in subtle ways. For example, consider the role roosters have played in keeping time:
The use of cockcrows in the predawn period to reckon time is extremely widespread, and has been ethnographically documented. The Bororo of Brazil keep track of time after midnight through the gradual increase in intensity and frequency of crows between the first cockcrow and dawn; the Ifugao of the Philippines state that cocks crow four times during the night with the third cockcrow at around four oclock in the morning; and among the Saramaka, a maroon group in Surinam, cockcrow is an auspicious time for sharing secrets in the predawn hours.
While it's true that roosters can indeed crow at any time, in a recent paper anthropologist Kevin Birth discusses how avian chronobiology shapes a reliable relationship between cockcrow and the coming dawn that may help understand perceptions of time prior to the establishment of a standard global time.
First, like roosters, preachers strive against darkness to account approaching light. Second, they awaken the sluggish. Just as cocks understanding penetrates the darkness, so should the knowledge of teachers. Also, Gregory states that cocks are louder in the darkness and more gentle as dawn approaches, and he says that this is a metaphor for how preachers should treat people. Those who are in darkness receive harsher messages, while those who are approaching spiritual enlightenment should hear the subtlest mysteries. The cockcrow was a temporal signifier in the Middle Ages, but is there any biological basis for these sorts of connections?
Do Roosters Crow at Dawn? Sure they do! Chickens have a circadian cycle. They're entrained to light-cyclesmelatonin secretion, and regulation of the heart, brain, and liver change in response to light. For roosters, whose crows are driven by testosterone, light cycles which regulate endogenous cycles can also trigger crowing behavior.
Endogenous cycles in chickens can reset in response to incremental changes in light intensity. Gambian hens, for example, shift their roosting times in accordance with the seasons: since the days are relatively the same length, the chickens appear to negotiate roosting in relation to shifting light intensity. Chickens, then, are able to anticipate light cycles. Research done in North-Central India, where the sun only becomes visible after it has risen higher than surrounding mountains, documents the onset of crowing approximately two to three hours before sunrise with initial intervals of about 30 minutes that decrease to about seven minutes at the time of sunriseeven though the sun is not actually visible at the moment of sunrise.
But roosters also crow at other times and for different reasons. Birth acknowledges theyre only temporally relevant during the period of predawn for a specific locationbut they are an excellent means of generating contextually-relevant information.
Sunday, December 6, 2015
What Makes The Difference?
What really sets the best leaders above the rest? How would you describe your success and progress in life? Self-made or imposed? We all have stories to tell...which connotes the difference between the winner and loser. Leaders and managers alike have power to build a cadre of employees who have great inner work lives—consistently positive emotions; strong motivation; and favorable perceptions of the organization, their work, and their colleagues. Some leaders do not see the need for this aura.
As leaders we are a force!
As leaders we are a force!
Monday, November 30, 2015
Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life?
Can changing your thinking really change your life? Consider this: I’ve studied successful people for forty years, and though the diversity you find among them is astounding, I believe they are all alike in one way: how they think! That is the one thing that separates the successful from the unsuccessful.
The good news is that it’s possible to learn how to think like a successful person. But before we can learn from a good thinker, we need to know what they look like. You often hear someone say that a colleague or friend is a “good thinker,” but that phrase means something different to everyone. To one person it may mean having a high IQ, while to another it could mean knowing a bunch of trivia or being able to figure out whodunit when reading a mystery novel.
I believe that good thinking isn’t just one thing. It consists of several specific thinking skills. Becoming a good thinker means developing those skills to the best of your ability. In Built to Last, Jim Collins and Jerry Porras describe what it means to be a visionary company, the kind of company that epitomizes the pinnacle of American business. They describe it this way:
A visionary company is like a great work of art. Think of Michelangelo’s scenes from Genesis on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel or his statue of David. Think of a great and enduring novel like Huckleberry Finn or Crime and Punishment. Think of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony or Shakespeare’s Henry V. Think of a beautifully designed building, like the masterpieces of Frank Lloyd Wright or Ludwig Mies van der Rohe. You can’t point to any one single item that makes the whole thing work; it’s the entire work—all the pieces working together to create an overall effect—that leads to enduring greatness.
Good thinking is similar. You need all the thinking “pieces” to become the kind of person who can achieve great things. I believe that those pieces include eleven skills, which I’ve listed below. After each is a question you can ask yourself to measure your own thinking:
Cultivate Big-Picture Thinking. Am I thinking beyond myself and my world so that I process ideas with a holistic perspective?
Engage in Focused Thinking. Am I dedicated to removing distractions and mental clutter so that I can concentrate with clarity on the real issue?
Harness Creative Thinking. Am I working to break out of my “box,” exploring ideas and options, so I can experience creative breakthrough?
Employ Realistic Thinking. Am I building a solid foundation on facts so that I can think with certainty?
Utilize Strategic Thinking. Am I implementing strategic plans that give me direction for today and increase my potential for tomorrow?
Explore Possibility Thinking. Am I unleashing the enthusiasm of possibility thinking to find solutions for even seemingly impossible problems?
Learn from Reflective Thinking. Am I regularly revisiting the past to gain a true perspective and think with understanding?
Question Popular Thinking. Am I consciously rejecting the limitations of common thinking in order to accomplish uncommon results?
Benefit from Shared Thinking. Am I consistently searching the minds of others to think “over my head” and achieve compounding results?
Practice Unselfish Thinking. Am I continually considering others and their journey in order to think with maximum collaboration?
Rely on Bottom-Line Thinking. Do I stay focused on the bottom line so that I can gain the maximum return and reap the full potential of my thinking?
Based on your answers to the questions, where are you strongest? In what kind of thinking do you need to grow? Develop in any of those areas, and you’ll become a better thinker. Master all that you can - especially the process of shared thinking, which helps you compensate for your weak areas - and your life will change.
The good news is that it’s possible to learn how to think like a successful person. But before we can learn from a good thinker, we need to know what they look like. You often hear someone say that a colleague or friend is a “good thinker,” but that phrase means something different to everyone. To one person it may mean having a high IQ, while to another it could mean knowing a bunch of trivia or being able to figure out whodunit when reading a mystery novel.
I believe that good thinking isn’t just one thing. It consists of several specific thinking skills. Becoming a good thinker means developing those skills to the best of your ability. In Built to Last, Jim Collins and Jerry Porras describe what it means to be a visionary company, the kind of company that epitomizes the pinnacle of American business. They describe it this way:
A visionary company is like a great work of art. Think of Michelangelo’s scenes from Genesis on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel or his statue of David. Think of a great and enduring novel like Huckleberry Finn or Crime and Punishment. Think of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony or Shakespeare’s Henry V. Think of a beautifully designed building, like the masterpieces of Frank Lloyd Wright or Ludwig Mies van der Rohe. You can’t point to any one single item that makes the whole thing work; it’s the entire work—all the pieces working together to create an overall effect—that leads to enduring greatness.
Good thinking is similar. You need all the thinking “pieces” to become the kind of person who can achieve great things. I believe that those pieces include eleven skills, which I’ve listed below. After each is a question you can ask yourself to measure your own thinking:
Cultivate Big-Picture Thinking. Am I thinking beyond myself and my world so that I process ideas with a holistic perspective?
Engage in Focused Thinking. Am I dedicated to removing distractions and mental clutter so that I can concentrate with clarity on the real issue?
Harness Creative Thinking. Am I working to break out of my “box,” exploring ideas and options, so I can experience creative breakthrough?
Employ Realistic Thinking. Am I building a solid foundation on facts so that I can think with certainty?
Utilize Strategic Thinking. Am I implementing strategic plans that give me direction for today and increase my potential for tomorrow?
Explore Possibility Thinking. Am I unleashing the enthusiasm of possibility thinking to find solutions for even seemingly impossible problems?
Learn from Reflective Thinking. Am I regularly revisiting the past to gain a true perspective and think with understanding?
Question Popular Thinking. Am I consciously rejecting the limitations of common thinking in order to accomplish uncommon results?
Benefit from Shared Thinking. Am I consistently searching the minds of others to think “over my head” and achieve compounding results?
Practice Unselfish Thinking. Am I continually considering others and their journey in order to think with maximum collaboration?
Rely on Bottom-Line Thinking. Do I stay focused on the bottom line so that I can gain the maximum return and reap the full potential of my thinking?
Based on your answers to the questions, where are you strongest? In what kind of thinking do you need to grow? Develop in any of those areas, and you’ll become a better thinker. Master all that you can - especially the process of shared thinking, which helps you compensate for your weak areas - and your life will change.
Leading Decisions
If you watch the news, it seems like every time we turn around, a new crisis appears. In times like these, good leadership is especially critical. Here are the top five types of tough choices good leaders make during tough times:
Courageous decisions. A leader has to be willing to stand up to all competing agendas and do what must be done.
Priority decisions. What must be done first? The Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto once said, "If you're Noah, and your ark is about to sink, look for the elephants first, because you can throw over a bunch of cats and dogs and squirrels and everything else that is just a small animal - and your ark will keep sinking. But if you can find one elephant to get overboard, you're in much better shape." If you're a leader, identify your elephants.
Change decisions. Leaders should know when it's time to make a change.
Creative decisions. Think outside of the box. Get every option out on the table. A good leader will be open-minded and explore all options on the spectrum between "change nothing" and "change everything." The right choice usually lies somewhere in the middle.
Support decisions. Leaders are responsible for having the right people on the team and making sure they are in the right places. In their book, The Wisdom of Teams, Jon R. Katzenbach and Douglas K. Smith write, Team leaders genuinely believe that they do not have all the answers-so they do not insist on providing them. They believe they do not need to make all key decisions-so they do not do so. They believe they cannot succeed without the combined contributions of all the other members of the team to a common end-so they avoid any action that might constrain inputs or intimidate anyone on the team. Ego is not their predominant concern.
Leaders are not MADE in a crisis. Leaders are REVEALED in a crisis. It's easy to steer a ship in calm waters. Only the turbulence of a storm shows a captain's true skill. If your organization is facing a storm, take the wheel and make the decisions that only a leader can make.
Courageous decisions. A leader has to be willing to stand up to all competing agendas and do what must be done.
Priority decisions. What must be done first? The Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto once said, "If you're Noah, and your ark is about to sink, look for the elephants first, because you can throw over a bunch of cats and dogs and squirrels and everything else that is just a small animal - and your ark will keep sinking. But if you can find one elephant to get overboard, you're in much better shape." If you're a leader, identify your elephants.
Change decisions. Leaders should know when it's time to make a change.
Creative decisions. Think outside of the box. Get every option out on the table. A good leader will be open-minded and explore all options on the spectrum between "change nothing" and "change everything." The right choice usually lies somewhere in the middle.
Support decisions. Leaders are responsible for having the right people on the team and making sure they are in the right places. In their book, The Wisdom of Teams, Jon R. Katzenbach and Douglas K. Smith write, Team leaders genuinely believe that they do not have all the answers-so they do not insist on providing them. They believe they do not need to make all key decisions-so they do not do so. They believe they cannot succeed without the combined contributions of all the other members of the team to a common end-so they avoid any action that might constrain inputs or intimidate anyone on the team. Ego is not their predominant concern.
Leaders are not MADE in a crisis. Leaders are REVEALED in a crisis. It's easy to steer a ship in calm waters. Only the turbulence of a storm shows a captain's true skill. If your organization is facing a storm, take the wheel and make the decisions that only a leader can make.
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Firm
Being firm is in character.
People often worry that being firm and assertive equates to “being mean.” This is an unfounded worry. Setting firm and appropriate boundaries is actually a kindness. Being assertive reduces confusing ambiguity. People know what’s on your mind and can respond accordingly. It also reduces pressure for people to try and ferret out your needs or opinions, leaving them time and energy to respond to your feedback.
Another benefit of communicating assertively: you give other people permission to do the same.
On the other hand, people who equate assertiveness with aggressiveness can actually end up doing the very things they’re trying to avoid: having angry outbursts or “being mean” in ways that tax their relationships and themselves. For example, a person may boil over and become aggressive or pushy after months or years of giving in. Or, they may remain in a passive stance indefinitely, feeling depleted, depressed, and unable to bring their caring hearts fully to any enterprise.
In these scenarios, everyone loses.
Resentment, desperation, frustration and fatigue are all various sorts of “meanness” that get turned inward or outward eventually. Assertiveness translates your needs into messages that can be received and acted upon effectively. Firmness gives you a voice without compromising yourself or your relationships. It is very possible to hold a position both firmly and kindly. Kindness does not mean caving in or giving other people their way all the time.
Let’s assume you have a clear idea of the battles worth fighting. Here are some tips for good outcomes and some common errors to avoid.
Merits of Firmness
Plan ahead. As we discussed earlier, it helps if you’ve identified the problem ahead of time. As with any new skill, it can be hard to practice without a little forethought. So have a picture in your head about how you’d like the conversation to go.
Prepare for resistance. You’d be surprised at the kind of resistance you’ll encounter when practicing this skill, especially from people you love and care for! It helps if you can anticipate when and how people will “push back” in conversation with you.
Buy time. If someone’s pushing on your boundaries and you feel caught off guard, it never hurts to buy a little time so you can compose a thoughtful no. Tell them you need time to think it over, say, “I can’t give this the thought it deserves right now, let me get back to you on that.” Whatever you do, don’t offer a quick “yes” just to buy time to say “no” later on.
Keep it short. You don’t need to launch into a long explanation about why you’ve elected not to do something. Being overly explanatory can make you seem guilty or apologetic about standing your ground. It also invites people to spar with your reasons. So don’t offer them unless asked, and be sparse with the details.
Broken record. You will probably need to repeat your answer many times in a single conversation, and perhaps across several different conversations. Stick to your guns, and don’t feel bad about standing your ground. You aren’t being rude. If anything, you could see it as rude that the person repeatedly asking isn’t taking you at your word.
Combine a yes with a no. No one likes to be told no. But, if you can combine a yes with a no, things can go more smoothly. It shows willingness to compromise and that you value the other person’s feelings. So, you’re essentially saying, “Well, I can’t do that, but I’m happy to do this.” Just be sure whatever you volunteer yourself for is something you’re okay with doing!
Start small. As with any new skill, it helps if you start with something low-stakes. So, if you’ve been contemplating a confrontation with your boss for ages about a long overdue raise, you might consider first tackling something a bit smaller. (Hint: this is not an excuse to perpetually avoid the salary talk with your boss.)
Make visible. In some cases, your complaint may be addressed by simply calling someone’s attention to a task. This can be infuriating, because this points out someone else’s luxury of being clueless and the trouble of invisible work. But, the sooner you feel free to speak up, the less burdened you will feel and the more quickly you will find a resolution.
Pitfalls of Firmness
Passivity. Hallmarks of a passive interpersonal approach include waiting for someone else to speak up for you, or hoping that someone will somehow intuit your needs or feelings (aka, mind-reading). Patience is a virtue, but only in moderation—make it your job to advocate for yourself!
Aggression. It makes sense that you might be feeling incredibly resentful after weeks, months or longer of feeling walked on or taken advantage of. However, if that resentment boils over, you are more likely to damage both your cause and your relationship. Your very legitimate concerns become easier to dismiss if you fly off the handle in a rage. Aggression will get your short-term goals met at the cost of your long-term ones.
Passive aggression. This interpersonal style, where you say one thing and mean another, or you cloak your anger and aggression in sarcasm or other “hidden” communications, will alienate people from you. They will feel unhappy, guilted, or criticized, but walk away from the conversation feeling confused about where it all came from. In large doses, this will poison your relationships.
Hold, then cave. Being assertive can be a real challenge, especially if you have set a precedent for being overly accommodating. It is a common experience to hold a position firmly or even aggressively at first, and then to cave in to pressures later on. This is why it helps to have a clear bottom line about which battles you’re fighting, so you can maintain a firm stance over time.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Result-centric vs Result-driven
At work-place there are varied categories of human beings. Some are result-oriented while some are result-centric.
Monday, August 31, 2015
From Mind & Mouth
It's been estimated that we each have upwards of 50,000 thoughts per day. How many of yours are positive or negative? Sometimes you have to do a mental spring cleaning to get rid of those negative ones that have become ingrained attitudes. Stopping self-destructive thoughts is like stopping any other bad habit—it takes time and effort. Among the most effective ways to do this are visualization and affirmations.
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Rush & Rash of New Hires
In the recent times, I have come to the understanding that so many people, new hires do allow harmful haste out run their wit.
They want to achieve set goals and results within the shortest time without understanding the job, its environment and people who they met on ground.
They want to achieve set goals and results within the shortest time without understanding the job, its environment and people who they met on ground.
Friday, July 31, 2015
This Ends...That Starts
It is called Experience. It never stops. Past months are notoriously rough and interesting.
Used not Favoured
There is diverse ways of looking at life's event and outcomes. Different things mean different things to different people.
Monday, July 27, 2015
The Boss' Boss
Robert Greene's The 48 Laws of Power Law 1 states "Never Outshine The Master". He went further to assert that we should always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power. But what do I do when I was appointed the boss of your boss by the firm's Management.
Sunday, June 28, 2015
Speak Well, Listen Better
The two sides to every conversation are essentially speaking and listening.
When it’s your turn to talk…
1. Think straight. The first rule of plain talk, then, is to think before you say anything. Organize your thoughts.
2. Say what you mean. Say exactly what you mean. Always go straight to the point without blabbing.
3. Get to the point. Effective communicators don’t beat around the bush. If you want something, ask for it. If you want someone to do something, say exactly what you want done.
4. Be concise. Don’t waste words. Confusion grows in direct proportion to the number of words used. Speak plainly and briefly, using the shortest, most familiar words.
5. Be real. Our personality aids us in communicating clearly. Be natural and let the real you come through.
Then, when it’s your turn to listen…
1. Do it with thought and care. Listening, like speaking and writing, requires genuine interest and attention. If you don’t concentrate on listening, you won’t learn much, and you won’t remember much of what you do learn.
2. Use your eyes. If you listen only with your ears, you’re missing out on much of the message. Good listeners keep their eyes open while listening. Look for feelings.
3. Observe these nonverbal signals when listening to people:
Rubbing one eye. When you hear “I guess you’re right,” and the speaker is rubbing one eye, guess again. Rubbing one eye often is a signal that the speaker is having trouble inwardly accepting something.
Tapping feet. When a statement is accompanied by foot-tapping, it usually indicates a lack of confidence in what is being said.
Rubbing fingers. When you see the thumb and forefinger rubbing together, it often means that the speaker is holding something back.
Staring and blinking. When you see the other person staring at the ceiling and blinking rapidly, the topic at hand is under consideration.
Crooked smiles. Most genuine smiles are symmetrical. And most facial expressions are fleeting. If a smile is noticeably crooked, you’re probably looking at a fake one.
Eyes that avoid contact. Poor eye contact can be a sign of low self-esteem, but it can also indicate that the speaker is not being truthful.
4. Make things easy. People who are poor listeners will find few who are willing to come to them with useful information. Good listeners make it easy on those to whom they want to listen. They make it clear that they’re interested in what the other person has to say.
When it’s your turn to talk…
1. Think straight. The first rule of plain talk, then, is to think before you say anything. Organize your thoughts.
2. Say what you mean. Say exactly what you mean. Always go straight to the point without blabbing.
3. Get to the point. Effective communicators don’t beat around the bush. If you want something, ask for it. If you want someone to do something, say exactly what you want done.
4. Be concise. Don’t waste words. Confusion grows in direct proportion to the number of words used. Speak plainly and briefly, using the shortest, most familiar words.
5. Be real. Our personality aids us in communicating clearly. Be natural and let the real you come through.
Then, when it’s your turn to listen…
1. Do it with thought and care. Listening, like speaking and writing, requires genuine interest and attention. If you don’t concentrate on listening, you won’t learn much, and you won’t remember much of what you do learn.
2. Use your eyes. If you listen only with your ears, you’re missing out on much of the message. Good listeners keep their eyes open while listening. Look for feelings.
3. Observe these nonverbal signals when listening to people:
Rubbing one eye. When you hear “I guess you’re right,” and the speaker is rubbing one eye, guess again. Rubbing one eye often is a signal that the speaker is having trouble inwardly accepting something.
Tapping feet. When a statement is accompanied by foot-tapping, it usually indicates a lack of confidence in what is being said.
Rubbing fingers. When you see the thumb and forefinger rubbing together, it often means that the speaker is holding something back.
Staring and blinking. When you see the other person staring at the ceiling and blinking rapidly, the topic at hand is under consideration.
Crooked smiles. Most genuine smiles are symmetrical. And most facial expressions are fleeting. If a smile is noticeably crooked, you’re probably looking at a fake one.
Eyes that avoid contact. Poor eye contact can be a sign of low self-esteem, but it can also indicate that the speaker is not being truthful.
4. Make things easy. People who are poor listeners will find few who are willing to come to them with useful information. Good listeners make it easy on those to whom they want to listen. They make it clear that they’re interested in what the other person has to say.
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Being Smart by "Under-promising and Over-delivering"
Many of us think we are smart when we under-promise and over-deliver. Meanwhile under-promising is lying. It is when one is afraid to fail.
Scared, huh?! Scaring is caring but with an extra 's'.
Nobody wants a liar!
Scared, huh?! Scaring is caring but with an extra 's'.
Nobody wants a liar!
Monday, June 8, 2015
Being Neutral...Unrighteous!
If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.
Thursday, April 30, 2015
My Job...My Life
For better or for worse...with my job.
It is disheartening when you are working and your efforts seem unproductive.
Work, work, work! How I wish there is an alternative or palliative to it. Why must our lives depend on work? It is really taking its toll from all direction.
Let’s be honest, as much as we want to be defined by our family, friends, hopes, and dreams, in the real world we are largely defined by what we do for a living. That’s nothing new. Throughout history and across cultures the follow-up to the question “what’s your name?” has been “what do you do?”
It’s definitely a turn-off thinking about your job as among the most defining forces in our lives. Virtually no one wants to be tied to that. We want to be acknowledged for our intrinsic worth, our intelligence, our potential, and our past successes. “I’m so much more than what I do for a living” we say, and that’s basically true.
Sincerely, there is problem! They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I say the first step is noticing that there is a problem.
I seem to be owned by my job. This because...
1. Most of My Waking Hours Are Spent At Work
2. Without My Job, I doubt I Will Have Money
3. My Job Determines My Market Value
4. And My Biggest Source of Negative Stress Is My Job
5. I Talk About Work All The Time
6. I Keep Procrastinating on Things I Ought To Want
7. I Have to Be At Work Even If I Am Not Productive
8. I Check Work Emails/Work Related Notes After Work Hours
9. It Has Been Difficult To Learn Anything Valuable Since I Join My Current Job.
My Life is Mine to Own...God help me.
It is disheartening when you are working and your efforts seem unproductive.
Work, work, work! How I wish there is an alternative or palliative to it. Why must our lives depend on work? It is really taking its toll from all direction.
Let’s be honest, as much as we want to be defined by our family, friends, hopes, and dreams, in the real world we are largely defined by what we do for a living. That’s nothing new. Throughout history and across cultures the follow-up to the question “what’s your name?” has been “what do you do?”
It’s definitely a turn-off thinking about your job as among the most defining forces in our lives. Virtually no one wants to be tied to that. We want to be acknowledged for our intrinsic worth, our intelligence, our potential, and our past successes. “I’m so much more than what I do for a living” we say, and that’s basically true.
Sincerely, there is problem! They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I say the first step is noticing that there is a problem.
I seem to be owned by my job. This because...
1. Most of My Waking Hours Are Spent At Work
2. Without My Job, I doubt I Will Have Money
3. My Job Determines My Market Value
4. And My Biggest Source of Negative Stress Is My Job
5. I Talk About Work All The Time
6. I Keep Procrastinating on Things I Ought To Want
7. I Have to Be At Work Even If I Am Not Productive
8. I Check Work Emails/Work Related Notes After Work Hours
9. It Has Been Difficult To Learn Anything Valuable Since I Join My Current Job.
My Life is Mine to Own...God help me.
Monday, April 27, 2015
Over-the-Top!
Actions may be regarded as feeble, moderate or over the top. But when should an action be referred to as being over the top?
Bearing in mind that actions can be proactive or reactive, some actions are borne out of need and necessity. In work environment, good managers are those who can hire and fire. It is inevitable to discipline and/or set records straight.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Free and Fair
Free and fair are words that are peculiar to elections in Nigeria and other parts of the planet.
United States Mission to the Organisation for Security and Cooperation in Europe stated that free and fair elections are a fundamental element of a healthy democracy.
To be truly free and fair, however, elections require not only transparent and well-managed election day polling, but also a society that encourages full citizen participation, political parties to operate freely, independent media to flourish, and which builds a judiciary system capable of exercising independent and impartial authority.
By and large, the workability of the above depends on people. Democracy is people-oriented.
Elections are the sine qua non of democracy. But dictatorships make evident the notion that elections alone cannot establish or sustain democracy. Without democracy's other essential elements - consent of the governed, constitutional limits, the protection of human and minority rights, accountability and transparency, a multiple party system, economic freedom, and the rule of law, elections cannot guarantee that freedom will be achieved.
Where democratic institutions are weak, elections are easily used by violent and dictatorial political groups to manipulate the will of the people and seize control of the government.
United States Mission to the Organisation for Security and Cooperation in Europe stated that free and fair elections are a fundamental element of a healthy democracy.
To be truly free and fair, however, elections require not only transparent and well-managed election day polling, but also a society that encourages full citizen participation, political parties to operate freely, independent media to flourish, and which builds a judiciary system capable of exercising independent and impartial authority.
By and large, the workability of the above depends on people. Democracy is people-oriented.
Elections are the sine qua non of democracy. But dictatorships make evident the notion that elections alone cannot establish or sustain democracy. Without democracy's other essential elements - consent of the governed, constitutional limits, the protection of human and minority rights, accountability and transparency, a multiple party system, economic freedom, and the rule of law, elections cannot guarantee that freedom will be achieved.
Where democratic institutions are weak, elections are easily used by violent and dictatorial political groups to manipulate the will of the people and seize control of the government.
Saying...Less
Speaking less will make people reveal more about themselves. This is information you may be able to use against them later on. Your short answers and silences will put them on the defensive, and they will jump in, nervously filling the silence with all kinds of comments that will reveal valuable information about them and their weaknesses. The longer you listen, the more others move their lips and teeth. As they move their lips and teeth, you can thereby understand their real intentions.
Speaking Less will force people to listen/interpret your every word carefully. Your silence will make other people uncomfortable. Humans are machines of interpretation and explanation; they wish or have to know what you are thinking. When you carefully control what you reveal, they cannot pierce your intentions or your meaning. They will leave a meeting with and they will go home and ponder your every word. This extra attention to your brief comments will only add to your power.
When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague and open-ended.
Speaking Less will force people to listen/interpret your every word carefully. Your silence will make other people uncomfortable. Humans are machines of interpretation and explanation; they wish or have to know what you are thinking. When you carefully control what you reveal, they cannot pierce your intentions or your meaning. They will leave a meeting with and they will go home and ponder your every word. This extra attention to your brief comments will only add to your power.
When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague and open-ended.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Pendulum - Swing
A pendulum is a weight suspended from a pivot so that it can swing freely. When a pendulum is displaced sideways from its resting equilibrium position, it is subject to a restoring force due to gravity that will accelerate it back toward the equilibrium position. When released, the restoring force combined with the pendulum's mass causes it to oscillate about the equilibrium position, swinging back and forth. The time for one complete cycle, a left swing and a right swing, is called the period. The period depends on the length of the pendulum, and also to a slight degree on the amplitude, the width of the pendulum's swing. - Wikipedia.
We have the notion that what goes up must surely come down. When pendulum swings forth, we're waiting for it to swing back again, which I am absolutely confident it will.
We have the notion that what goes up must surely come down. When pendulum swings forth, we're waiting for it to swing back again, which I am absolutely confident it will.
Monday, March 9, 2015
Duration: Beginning & End
End represents the opposite of beginning.
We should always be sensitive to know when it is ripe to say goodbye...especially when the ovation is at the loudest.
We should always be sensitive to know when it is ripe to say goodbye...especially when the ovation is at the loudest.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Mistakes...even at Old Age
I used to think that as I gained maturity and experience I would make fewer mistakes. But it is surprising to note that as I grow older, I still make mistakes. In deep thoughts, I realise one could not stop making mistakes since one has not stopped learning. I am learning better from them.
Here are the reasons why maturity helps us learn more quickly from our mistakes:
1. We become more self-confident. As we gain confidence, we become more willing to admit things that we would not confess if we had lower self-image.
2. We realize that mistakes are not usually fatal or costly. We understand that mistakes are not as big of a deal as we originally thought.
3. We see others make mistakes. Wasn't it wonderful when you saw all the people that you admired make mistakes? You feel reassured!
4. We understand that mistakes are unavoidable. Look back at your early years. Can you think of the times you tried to avoid mistakes?
5. We find that we make the same mistakes unless we learn from them. Unless I learn from a mistake, I usually keep doing it over and over again.
You see, the question is not how many mistakes have you made; the question is how many of the same mistakes have you made? If I always do what I've always done, I'll always get what I've always gotten.
Here are the reasons why maturity helps us learn more quickly from our mistakes:
1. We become more self-confident. As we gain confidence, we become more willing to admit things that we would not confess if we had lower self-image.
2. We realize that mistakes are not usually fatal or costly. We understand that mistakes are not as big of a deal as we originally thought.
3. We see others make mistakes. Wasn't it wonderful when you saw all the people that you admired make mistakes? You feel reassured!
4. We understand that mistakes are unavoidable. Look back at your early years. Can you think of the times you tried to avoid mistakes?
5. We find that we make the same mistakes unless we learn from them. Unless I learn from a mistake, I usually keep doing it over and over again.
You see, the question is not how many mistakes have you made; the question is how many of the same mistakes have you made? If I always do what I've always done, I'll always get what I've always gotten.
Friday, January 2, 2015
2015: The Newest Bride!
The year 2014 has
come and gone! So much testimonies…new homes, new cars, new jobs, new couple…lots but to mention few.
It is no news that economies are not looking good across the globe. Nigeria is hit severely because of her dependence on oil for decades. Revenue has dropped drastically! The Nigerian government recently called on the citizens to imbibe austerity measures in the year 2015. No doubt, the world is facing unprecedented unemployment – even in the developed world. Youth are particularly hard hit. In 2014 more students in their thousands graduated from Nigerian tertiary institutions. Many moved directly into the swollen ranks of the unemployed.
According to the International Labor Organization, youth unemployment in most of the world is stuck at about 20 percent. "Young people [are] nearly three times as likely as adults to be unemployed," says the ILO. It may surprise you to know that Nigeria is not alone in this, in Spain more than 50 percent of young people are unemployed, in Italy it's 35 percent, and in France the rate is more than 25 percent. When considering under-employment, these numbers could be doubled. It therefore instructive to state that there’s no safe haven anywhere.
Traditional methods of job creation are stalled because our government has persistently pay lip service to supporting small and medium enterprises in Nigeria.
One of the keys to solving this problem is entrepreneurship. Research shows that 80 percent of new jobs come from companies 5 years old or less. So the need for entrepreneurs has never been greater, in both developing and developed countries. When given the right conditions to flourish, entrepreneurs are the foundation of growth, prosperity and even innovation. They bring fresh thinking to the marketplace and fuel the creative destruction that makes market economies prosper.
In addition to creating jobs, new companies are the foundation of the economy and the source of much innovation. They also create the new goods and services on which our standard of living is based. The Internet slashes transaction and collaboration costs for almost every institution in an economy. This is leading to a change in how societies orchestrate capability to innovate, create goods, services and public value. With such costs falling precipitously, companies can increasingly source ideas, innovations and uniquely qualified minds from a vast global pool of talent.
Waiting for governments or big companies to solve the problem is not the answer. Necessity is the mother of invention. Is it time to take the bull by the horns and make your own job?
The best thing I ever did in my professional life was to become an entrepreneur. It was tough, but it worked out well for me and I have a life of influence, prosperity and fun beyond anything I ever dreamed. Here’s my advice to you.
1. Create customer-based business. Peter Drucker said years ago: “The purpose of any business should be to create a customer.” Create some value that a customer would want to pay you for. Also, Tony Hsieh the CEO of Zappos, said: “Chase the vision, not the money; the money will end up following you.”
2. Don’t seek big or venture capital. These days virtually no venture capitalist invest in a business plans or even early-stage companies. Besides, you don’t need them. Fortunately, it is less costly than ever to create a company (business name or limited liability). The best is to have a product or service that generates initial revenue so you don’t have to borrow money or give away equity. Or get a short-term loan or small investment from your family or friends.
3. Take advantage of the Internet. The Internet enables start-ups to focus on what you do best. Thanks to the Internet and cloud computing, small companies can now have all the capabilities of big companies, without the main liabilities: stifling bureaucracy, legacy culture and processes. Talent can be outside enterprise boundaries and companies can use the new media to market and engage stakeholders in radically new, low-cost ways.
4. Persevere. Owning business requires a lot of steadfastness. “Ninety percent of everything is just showing up.” "Success is 90 percent perspiration and 10 percent inspiration.”
It’s a lot of hard work to build a business...however, it's good to start early in the year.
...the newest bride! |
It is no news that economies are not looking good across the globe. Nigeria is hit severely because of her dependence on oil for decades. Revenue has dropped drastically! The Nigerian government recently called on the citizens to imbibe austerity measures in the year 2015. No doubt, the world is facing unprecedented unemployment – even in the developed world. Youth are particularly hard hit. In 2014 more students in their thousands graduated from Nigerian tertiary institutions. Many moved directly into the swollen ranks of the unemployed.
According to the International Labor Organization, youth unemployment in most of the world is stuck at about 20 percent. "Young people [are] nearly three times as likely as adults to be unemployed," says the ILO. It may surprise you to know that Nigeria is not alone in this, in Spain more than 50 percent of young people are unemployed, in Italy it's 35 percent, and in France the rate is more than 25 percent. When considering under-employment, these numbers could be doubled. It therefore instructive to state that there’s no safe haven anywhere.
Traditional methods of job creation are stalled because our government has persistently pay lip service to supporting small and medium enterprises in Nigeria.
One of the keys to solving this problem is entrepreneurship. Research shows that 80 percent of new jobs come from companies 5 years old or less. So the need for entrepreneurs has never been greater, in both developing and developed countries. When given the right conditions to flourish, entrepreneurs are the foundation of growth, prosperity and even innovation. They bring fresh thinking to the marketplace and fuel the creative destruction that makes market economies prosper.
In addition to creating jobs, new companies are the foundation of the economy and the source of much innovation. They also create the new goods and services on which our standard of living is based. The Internet slashes transaction and collaboration costs for almost every institution in an economy. This is leading to a change in how societies orchestrate capability to innovate, create goods, services and public value. With such costs falling precipitously, companies can increasingly source ideas, innovations and uniquely qualified minds from a vast global pool of talent.
Waiting for governments or big companies to solve the problem is not the answer. Necessity is the mother of invention. Is it time to take the bull by the horns and make your own job?
The best thing I ever did in my professional life was to become an entrepreneur. It was tough, but it worked out well for me and I have a life of influence, prosperity and fun beyond anything I ever dreamed. Here’s my advice to you.
1. Create customer-based business. Peter Drucker said years ago: “The purpose of any business should be to create a customer.” Create some value that a customer would want to pay you for. Also, Tony Hsieh the CEO of Zappos, said: “Chase the vision, not the money; the money will end up following you.”
2. Don’t seek big or venture capital. These days virtually no venture capitalist invest in a business plans or even early-stage companies. Besides, you don’t need them. Fortunately, it is less costly than ever to create a company (business name or limited liability). The best is to have a product or service that generates initial revenue so you don’t have to borrow money or give away equity. Or get a short-term loan or small investment from your family or friends.
3. Take advantage of the Internet. The Internet enables start-ups to focus on what you do best. Thanks to the Internet and cloud computing, small companies can now have all the capabilities of big companies, without the main liabilities: stifling bureaucracy, legacy culture and processes. Talent can be outside enterprise boundaries and companies can use the new media to market and engage stakeholders in radically new, low-cost ways.
4. Persevere. Owning business requires a lot of steadfastness. “Ninety percent of everything is just showing up.” "Success is 90 percent perspiration and 10 percent inspiration.”
It’s a lot of hard work to build a business...however, it's good to start early in the year.
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