Life and Changes

I believe there are overriding principles that we should follow and be led by. That life is about constant, predictable patterns of change. And that as we approach the future; for all of us, the only constant factor will be our feelings and attitudes toward life. Secondly, we as human beings have the power of attitude and that attitude determines choice, and choice determines results. All that we are and all that we can become has indeed been left unto us to decide and interpret through our attitude and choices.

Life and business are like the changing seasons. That's one of the best ways to illustrate life: it's like the seasons that change. Also, you cannot change the seasons, but you can change yourself. You must learn how to handle difficulty; it always comes after opportunity.

When things were difficult, I used to wish they were easy. I didn't know any better. Then Mr. Shoaff gave me the answer from a part of his very unique philosophy when he said, “Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don't wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don't wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom.”

Who Is Responsible?

Who is responsible for what happens in your life? Do you believe you should take personal responsibility? Or do you feel as if that is outside of your control and there's little or nothing you can do about it?

Psychologists say that some people possess an internal locus of control, where they rely primarily on themselves for the gains and losses in their lives. Others possess an external locus of control, where they blame others when something goes wrong. Which group is more successful? The group that takes personal responsibility. Which people are more content? The ones who take personal responsibility. Which people learn from their mistakes and keep growing and improving? The people who take responsibility.

Taking responsibility for your life is a choice. That doesn't mean you believe you are in control of everything in your life. That's not humanly possible. But you can take responsibility for yourself and every choice you have.

Failure: Our Handiwork

Over the years I have come to the understanding that failure only manifest itself by the way and manner you handle it. Some people fail forward. Others fail and quickly spiral downward. These two types of people are very different, but how?

The difference is on the inside. It's the spirit of the individual. Those who profit from adversity possess a spirit of humility and are therefore inclined to make the necessary changes needed to learn from their mistakes, failures, and losses. They stand in stark contrast to prideful people who are unwilling to allow adversity to be their teacher and as a result fail to learn.

But failure to learn isn't the only way pride impacts a leader. Prideful people blame others, deny the obvious truth, and are closed-minded, rigid, insecure, and isolated from others. All of these can be detrimental to a leader, especially one who is interested in growing.

However, if leaders can move past arrogance and work toward humility, they can become the very best. According to John C. Maxwell "Great talent is good, but great talent with a spirit of learning is better." As leaders, we need more than just talent to be successful. In fact, humble leaders must not boast in their talent, but instead, must be confident in the ways they can build others and build organizations regardless of failure.

Fear Factor

Are your fears holding you back or are you using them to move you forward?

Your fears can actually lead you to success. Fear is an intense emotion. But that doesn’t mean it has to control you, or even stop you. Fear can prepare you and push you forward just as strongly as it can hold you back. Fear heightens your awareness and increases your physical strength. Fear brings your mind to sharp focus. With all that going for you, does it make sense to just run and hide? Of course not. Fear gets you in shape to take action!

Are you waiting for things to get better before moving ahead? If you’re serious about success, you need to start taking action today. If you’re waiting for things to be perfect, you’ll wait forever and nothing will ever get done.

The way to achieve is to bloom where you’re planted, to do what you can, where you are, with what you have. It’s easy to think up excuses for not taking action. “If only I had more hours in the day. If only I had a better job. If only I could meet the right person.” But excuses won’t bring you anything of value. You’ve got to change your “if only” into an “I will.” “I will make better use of my time. I will work on improving my career. I will create and nurture my relationships.”

Take a chance. Have faith in yourself. Your circumstances will improve when you make the effort to improve them. Start where you are right now. You have everything it takes to reach for whatever you desire. Stop wishing. Use your time, your energy, your thoughts and efforts to make it happen!

You’ll be glad you did!

Respect is Reciprocal

Respect is a word that means different thing to different people. Some may see respect as a plague of seniority while others see it as an epitome of maturity. In respect itself I found answers to action steps that can enable you to earn respect from those you lead.

-Respect yourself and those you work with
-Exceed the expectations of others
-Stand firm on your convictions and principles
-Possess maturity beyond your years
-Experience success in your family life and career
-Contribute to the success of others
-Think ahead of others

Self-respect comes with understanding who you are - your personality and purpose. You may not always win, but when you routinely give outstanding effort and you will experience success. Do not take failure or criticism personally. After failing, never give yourself permission to self-identify as a failure.

3 Lives of Leaders

We all live three lives: public, private, and secret. I first read this in an article by Stephen Covey. In our public lives, we are seen and heard by colleagues, associates, and others within our circle of influence. In our private lives, we interact more intimately with spouses, family members, and close friends. The secret life is where your heart is, where your real motives are the ultimate desires of your life.

Many leaders never visit the secret life. Their public and private lives are essentially scripted by who and what precedes and surrounds them or by the pressures of the environment. And so they never exercise that unique endowment of self-awareness the key to the secret life where you can stand apart from yourself and observe your own involvement.

Most of us live within the purview of our public and private without giving any consideration to our secret lives. Courage is required to explore our secret life because we must first withdraw from the social mirror, where we are fed positive and negative feedback continuously. As we get used to this social feedback, it becomes a comfort zone. And we may opt to avoid self-examination and idle away our time in a vacuum of reverie and rationalization. In that frame of mind, we have little sense of identity, safety, or security.

The most critical junctures in your life take place when you visit your secret life and ask yourself, "What do I think? What do I believe is right? What should my motives be?" These are times when I choose my motives. One such time occurs when you relate with God, your creator...the author and finisher of your faith. It is more noble to give yourself completely to truth, than to labor diligently for the protection and salvation of fallacies." Truth is truth! I have never seen a thing like half-truth or almost-truth.

In the face of daunting situations like "For or Against same-sex marriage"; "For or Against child-marriage" a true leader should know where to pinch his or her tent. Friends, you ain't a leader until you are bold enough to tell anyone "Wait a minute it's my life."

As a true leader who is God-fearing, you should be capable of choosing your own motives.

Stand-out! Never join the crowd.

Leading & Relating

Effective leaders grow their relational skills in the following manner:
1. Have a Leader's Head - Understand people
2. Have a Leader's Heart - Love people
3. Have a Leader's Hand - Help people

I have said many times that if you want to know the effectiveness of a leader, then ask those who are led. This is because there is no perfect assessment, no bright-line test for what makes a leader effective, and no model that can perfectly determine great leadership.

So how then can we relate more effectively as leaders? Here are seven simple steps for improving your ability to do so:
1. Express genuine care and concern.
2. Establish high standards.
3. Bring in the perspective of others.
4. Share relevant information.
5. Role model the behaviors you want to see.
6. Clarify your understanding.
7. Provide your reactions and candid opinions.

I should hint that while these ideas may be simple, that does not mean any of them are easy to do. The right behaviors are frequently filled with common sense, yet that does not mean they are common practice. Consistent effort and attention to relating will improve your skill.